2019

Messy Faith

I have lots of questions about faith lately. I don’t have as many easy answers as I once had. Things that I thought were foundational to faith have been shaken. Life isn’t as black and white as I once thought.

What is the definition of faith?

According to the Webster’s dictionary it means:

1a: allegiance to duty or a person LOYALTY lost faith in the company’s president b(1): fidelity to one’s promises(2): sincerity of intentions acted in good faith 2a(1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God(2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b(1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof clinging to the faith that her missing son would one day return(2): complete trust 3: something that is believed especially with strong conviction especiallya system of religious beliefs the Protestant faith

And how would you define your faith? Is it strong, weak, or somewhere in between. Is it something that defines you? Or just another part of you? Are you waiting on God or expecting God to wait on you?

I’ve discovered something I think of as “Fairy-tale Faith”. It’s a type of faith where you believe that no one should ever suffer. Every one should be healed. Life should be a Utopian.

Where is the biblical evidence of this?

From what I’ve read it sounds like God is more interested in the internal parts of you. He wants you to have a right heart. Not a perfect worldly life. Yes, God is the ultimate giver of good gifts and He knows when something is too much for you.

In part I’m writing this for those that tell me that any time that I talk about not one day being healed that I shouldn’t say that. That being around those that are realistic is somehow affecting my chance of healing. Yes, they are right it is important to remain positive but I’m not waiting on “my healing” to start doing the Lord’s work for me.

I’m not some princess waiting to be saved. I have been saved. I’m set free from this World and from myself. Now I can fulfill God’s will for me. I accept that His will may be for me to be sick for the rest of my life. I also wouldn’t mind if He healed me today. I will be content with things as they are.

Saying that everyone will be healed is dangerous. Promising to new believers that if they accept God it will unlock all they have ever dreamed of is unhealthy. It leads to faith that is easily chocked out by the hardships of life. I want faith that is strong because I’ve been through hell on earth.

I’ve suffered some and I’ve learned that I have so much more to learn. God wants us to cling to Him and He will allow us to go through hardships to grow closer to Him.

When I felt that I needed to prove to everyone that following God would led to only good things I needed to look like I felt happy.

I just don’t feel that I need to project something that I don’t feel. I still try to remain positive. I think that it is important to hold onto to the good in this life. It can help you through the difficult times. It’s more import to be joyful and focus on the internal peace that God offers. This will allow you to feel happy more often.

When your fairy tale faith makes you think that everything has to be good, you miss out on the areas that you need to work on internally. Areas that the Lord wants you to work on for your own good. Yes, it hurts to look at the parts of you that aren’t Christ-like but it leads to real growth when you do.

For me finding joy is something that I have to actively search for. I’m someone who see’s the good in others but I often miss the good in myself. I’m someone who has been clinically depressed and doesn’t want to go back there. For me God is what has gotten me up on mornings when I would have rather just stayed in bed.

God doesn’t promise that it will be easy. He promises that it will be worth it.

I believe in this statement. I have faith that God is real and that His son died for me. I will try and change to become the new creation that God wills me to be. Rain or shine, sick or healthy, rich or poor, I pray that I will be strong enough to complete His will for me. This is my messy definition of faith.

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2019, encouragement, Father, jesus, the holy spirit

God with Us

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2019, church problems, Father, forgivness, jesus, love, my own crazy, the holy spirit

Kindness and Giving

I believe that as Christians we should be as kind to others as possible. There is an argument that we are supposed to be kind only to like-minded Christians. I would rather be inclusive.

I believe that we are supposed to share among the body. If you’re Brother or Sister in Christ lacks a basic necessity then it is the body’s job to supply that need.

We are supposed to look like a family of believers.

Just because you disagree with your Siblings on issues of faith doesn’t nullify your duty to them. I am sick and tired of the fighting. We will debate a comma for hours. Then we leave someone without help in their time of need because we think they are over exaggerating. When this is the reaction from the congregation, no wonder no one speaks up for help.

We are supposed to give sacrificially. That means that sometimes it’s gonna hurt. I would rather hurt now, than face my LORD in heaven and tell him why I missed out on the gift of blessing someone in need.

I’m sorry if I come off so angry but I’m heartbroken. I didn’t grow up in church. When I came to Christ all I had was my Mom and Dad and my bible. I don’t understand the selfishness that I see in the church.

We have someone who is retired in our church. He is on a fixed income and he doesn’t have enough to buy his medication and food. People in my church don’t want to help him because he smokes.

The people in my church would rather spend their retirement on cars, vacations, and homes, then on their heavenly retirement.

I wonder if we get so focused on Christ coming back that we miss all that God has for us in this life. We commit ourselves to Christ and then we wait. Then we die.

If all it means to have a relationship with God is to commit ourselves and then wait I feel like I missed something. I thought that being a Christian was life changing. I thought that it was supposed to be evident to those around us.

At least I hope that in my life, people see that I’m different.

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2019, encouragement

In a Yellow Wood

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2019, Blogger Recognition Award

Blogger Recognition Award

First off thank you Inside Cup for nominating me for this award. It came when I was least expecting it. I didn’t think that what I was writing was really helping people and getting this award was great encouragement.

The Blogger Recognition Award is a award by bloggers for bloggers. Meaning that the award is given by bloggers to bloggers. It is in recognition of the hard work that goes into each and every post. Not to mention the fact that the site is kept current and updated.

How I got Started

I started this blog after getting a vision from the Lord. Hi, I’m that kind of crazy Christian. I’m going to link the original post since it sums everything up nicely. I thought that my blog would be a way for readers to get to know me before I published a book. It’s come to mean more to me than that. I’ve also gotten more personal on here than I thought. Different people have told me that I should write about my life since it’s been…unique. Thank you for those who told me this through out the years. If you were just being nice to me, well, I took you literally.

Advice

1.My first piece of advice for new bloggers is more of writing advice. Write something you would read. This may sound like commonsense but I know that it helped me. Stop trying to entice readers in by writing what you think they want to hear. Believe me I know how tempting that can be. Write what will help you. Write what inspires you. Write what bothers you. Just make sure that the end product is something that if you were scrolling through you would stop and click on it.

2.Be honest. I think in today’s day and age people crave honesty. I believe people need Christ and they need hope. Honest hope, not look how great everything is for me, but let me cry on the bathroom floor with you because I understand and things can get better hope. People I have found need the truth. They need to see life as it is, not more fake imagines of what is unattainable.

Christ means more to me than when I started my blog. I have found that not everything turns out. But everywhere I go Christ, The Holy Spirit, and God The Father go with me. By opening up more I hope to be able to help people more. And you can only do that by being honest.

I Nominate You

  1. HeartsWord
  2. Lifeintheslowlane
  3. AChristianWorldviewofFiction
  4. FREE
  5. ABoldandDaringSpirit
  6. TheGodlyChicDiaries
  7. TheGriefReality
  8. SacrificeBeyondPrice
  9. EverySmallVoice
  10. Th(i)nkful
  11. RetrospectiveLily
  12. FeedingonJesus
  13. notmyownblog
  14. BeYeGlad
  15. BlueCordelia

Rules for the Nominees

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Write a post to show off your award. You’ve all earned it!
  3. Give a brief story of how you started blogging.
  4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Nominate 15 other bloggers that you want to receive this award. Make sure to comment on each blog to let them know they have received the award and provide a link to your post about the award.

Congratulations to all those nominated! Thank you for giving me as a reader new incites and ways of looking at the world.

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