2020, encouragement, Father, jesus, my own crazy, prayer, the holy spirit

Confused

I can’t be the only one that feels like I’m a little lost lately? I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know what I should be studying in the bible. I’m just struggling. Ideas that would make other Christians think that I’m too radical make sense to me. I feel that I’ve over complicated my faith in the past and now I am simplifying things and it seems so much clearer.

I came across this verse and it stuck me, I need to break this down.

Rejoice always; I know that I don’t always approach situations with joy. Most times I don’t feel it. I try to fake it but that only lasts so long.

Pray Continually; I talk to God a lot but I don’t pray much for specific things. I don’t know what God’s will is in most things.

Give thanks; I think I’m better at giving thanks since this whole quarantine started. I still have my days when I’m not thankful and I still have a way to go.

I love when I find verses like this because they remind me what’s important. I feel like this helps me see what I need to work on. There’s also a slew of other things on my mind lately.

Including; How I should act in these times as a Christian.

In my mind there are many things that the church in the book of Acts did that we no longer do. We think that those tenants were for then, not now. When did God change?

We should be breaking bread together. We should be helping those in need. We should be accepting of our place in society. Whether we are rich or poor or more likely somewhere in-between. We are called to be a peculiar people. Right now I think the world needs us more than ever.

James 2:14-17(AMP)


What do my actions say about me?

Often it is easy to poke a finger at what the church does wrong. It’s more difficult to look at ourselves. It’s imperative that we evaluate our own actions and motives behind those actions. Otherwise how do we learn?

In the past year there were times when I felt bitter about where I’m at in life. I’ve wondered how I’m supposed to pray for others healing and see them better when I’m not.

Hope and I have a love/hate relationship. I love the feeling of hope but I hate to be disappointed. Maybe from the outside looking in I look healthy and happy. Inside I feel like a messed up little girl sometimes. I lost hope that my life would ever change. I thought that this was it.

I did get my hope back. I guess that’s one good thing I’ve gained this year. We all have to accept that life doesn’t go the way we want. I think it says more about me when things don’t go my way and I hold onto hope. For me it’s much harder.

Moving forward I’m going to return to some of the habits that I had when I first believed. I want to read my bible more, listen to praise and worship more, and give myself quiet time to just think. It may not be a big change but I think it will help me move forward.

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2020, encouragement

Phone Backgrounds

In my free time I’ve been making backgrounds for my phone. I thought I would share them in case any one was interested.

I know that the world seems upside down right now, I feel it too. In these times we need to stay focused on God. I need to hear this just as much as you do. God bless you all during these difficult times.

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I’ve found music to be a big help lately. Some songs feel like they say something that you’ve been feeling for a long time but just couldn’t put the into words. Thank you for this song.

2020, encouragement, Music, my own crazy, Uncategorized

Hayley Williams, Thank You

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encouragement, Father, love, my own crazy, prayer

Psalms 139:23

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2019, encouragement, Father, jesus, the holy spirit

God with Us

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2019, encouragement

In a Yellow Wood

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encouragement, jesus

When you feel like you don’t belong

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2019, encouragement

Purity

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2019, encouragement, Father, jesus, the holy spirit

Some Good News

I got to see my neurologist and he doesn’t think I have MS. In fact he sees no point in even putting me through more tests. He believes that all it would do is create more stress for me.

I have been officially diagnosed with migraines. It’s something that I’ve been dealing with since I was seventeen. Over the years my migraines have shifted and changed. Going from an intense, pounding pain to a much more manageable low grade headache. I was worried that my low grade headache that I’ve had for the last two years was a sign of MS. I also occasionally have dizzy spells; This is also from my migraines. I didn’t understand that migraines could cause some of the symptoms that I’ve been experiencing.

I was comforted after the long appointment because the doctor took time when taking my history. Not all doctors that I’ve seen have made me feel like they listened. He also did some reflex testing to ensure that it wasn’t MS. When he talked to me he was kind but fair. He told me that I wasn’t going crazy, that yes migraines are painful, but he wanted to put things in perspective.

I’m not bed bound. Yes, I struggle but I have a full-time job. I have a social life but at times I have to say no because I don’t have the energy.

No one knows why their lives turn out the way they do. We just have to trust that God will work out everything for our good. As long as we are willing to be obedient.

At the very least I try to love God with all my heart, mind, and my less than perfect body. I believe that because my health isn’t perfect I have to rely on God more. This makes me walk closer with Him. I also have a lot more empathy for people.

I’m going to look at the positive today and I’m going to trust God for tomorrow. I have enough on my plate for today.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you that you have already worked out the problems that I’m facing today. I’m sorry that my lack of faith makes me doubt You at times. You are faithful to me even when I have these doubts. Thank You that I’m able to work. Thank You for the friends and family that I have in my life. I believe that all I am going through will one day make me the person that You want me to be. As long as I stay on the path that You have set for me to walk, I will be where You want me to be. Not that it will be easy. No, it will be hard but I will never have to face my pain alone. Thank You for all you are teaching me and showing me lately. I pray that by writing what I feel compelled to write it will help my fellow Christians and any new Brothers and Sisters that come across this blog.

In Jesus Name I Pray,

Amen

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