the vision, Uncategorized

The vision

When I was about eighteen or seventeen I had a vison of myself standing in a desert. My hair was extremely short,  and brown. I’m wearing a sundress. And I’m all alone.
At the time I thought it meant that one day I would one day return to my favorite place, the American southwest. I took the vision at face value. It gave me hope. Sometimes God has given me glimpses of the future. Sometimes it’s just a moment, a sentence, a beautiful flower, a person, or a future version of myself.

This week I cut most of my hair off. When I was at work the Lord brought this vison back to me. To be honest it had been a long time since I had even thought about it. I realized that I had that haircut, glasses, and that sundress that I’m wearing in the vision is hanging in my closet. It took my breath away. I had been in seriously prayer about where the Lord wanted me to be. I immediately thought that I should book a plane ticket. Now, it was time to go on a mission trip. I knew where I should go or did I?

It didn’t feel right. I didn’t have a God feeling about it. I began to seek what God meant. How could I get to this desert? Because I wanted to be there more than anything? And do you know what He said to me?

Write yourself there.

What? What does that mean? How on earth do I write myself there? Is this an idea for a fiction novel? Will my writing lead me to the desert?

Then I saw this blog.

This is where I will start this journey. Maybe I will physically end up in the desert. Maybe I’m in a spiritual desert because I haven’t been walking as close to God as I should. Maybe I’m in a desert and God’s saying it’s time to come out. Maybe I will be starting a whole new section of my life. The truth is I don’t have a clear-cut idea what this vision means now.

Rarely do I hear from God so clearly. But He has spoken to me and I will obey. Come along with me on this journey.

Your sister in Christ,
Autumn Wood

 

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2020, jesus

The First Stone

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2020, encouragement

Phone Backgrounds

In my free time I’ve been making backgrounds for my phone. I thought I would share them in case any one was interested.

I know that the world seems upside down right now, I feel it too. In these times we need to stay focused on God. I need to hear this just as much as you do. God bless you all during these difficult times.

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Uncategorized

What is good?

We all know what is good but what is good to God? I’m not sure that I can answer this question fully at this time. I don’t know enough to feel confidently that I have the full truth. I do have a better idea of what it means than I did a year ago and I want to share.

I think most people would define good simply as health, wealth, and status. All these thing can be good but what happens when you don’t have these things. Maybe these good things have been stripped from you.

Did God take away these blessings from you because He is angry with you? Maybe but maybe not.

It’s simplistic to think that having health, wealth, and status is the only ways that God can bless you. I know that God has our ultimate good in mind for those that love Him. He has the long term in mind not just the short term in mind.

There are lessons that we can only learn by going through life. Life is messy. There aren’t always easy answers. What makes God’s definition of good so different from us is how personally He views goodness. For God everyone’s good life looks different. I think we understand this on one hand but not on the other. We don’t apply this as fully as God does. He has crafted a life for each of us and it may not be as different from the one we are living now as we might hope.

“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” -1 Peter 1:7 (NIV)

Good to God is you being healed from past hurts.

Good to God is you being able to be all He intended you to be. Whether others understand it or not.

Good to God is you having the ability to hear His voice.

Great to God is you loving Him no matter what situations you find yourself in.

“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.”-Romans 8:11

God cares more for your spiritual well being than your earthly comfort. He cares that you believe and trust Him. That you are able to hold onto His peace.I wonder if sometimes when I am praying for peace if God isn’t just waiting for me to accept what He has already given me. If I could just accept that my life will never be perfect. If I could stop walking into a room and only seeing what’s wrong with it. Yes, see the problems but also have enough hope that they could be solved one day.

If I could hold onto my faith that God is in control. Then I wouldn’t worry so much. As much as we want to believe that we are in control, we aren’t. So much of our lives depend on things outside of us.

And if I could love people half as much as He loves me than I know I could make a real difference.

God cares about your decisions because He cares about the internal process. He cares about how you treat others because He cares about how you see yourself and others. It’s so much more about the internal than the external.

I hope that this will help us to all keep our heads up during this difficult time. Remember that God is with you and for you.

Autumn

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He has Risen, He is alive
Father, forgivness, jesus, love, the holy spirit

Happy Easter!

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I’ve found music to be a big help lately. Some songs feel like they say something that you’ve been feeling for a long time but just couldn’t put the into words. Thank you for this song.

2020, encouragement, Music, my own crazy, Uncategorized

Hayley Williams, Thank You

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Uncategorized

Troubled Times

I don’t feel that I have any more advice about dealing with COVID-19. In fact I’ve hear too much about it. One day this will only be a memory. A page in history. Make sure that you can live with your actions.

While I don’t have advice I do have hope.

If God could create the whole word including the beauty that is light, then He must be a God that pays attention to details. I for one have noticed how the light comes into my home since I’ve spent more time in it. The way it changes everything.

He knew that all this would happen.

Christ has overcome this world! In Christ we have victory! No need to worry and fret! That doesn’t mean that there won’t be problems. No sometimes it means that we will go through more problems.

When we are Christians we get to go through those times with Christ through the Holy Spirit. We have help, a comforter better than anything the world can offer. Sometimes I just smile thinking about it. I have peace not because of what is going on around me but because of what I have inside me.

These are the times that the simplest thing can make a difference. A phone call or text to a friend that are on their own means more. Sharing food and supplies, running errands for those who can’t, and being kind. There are many ways to help.

Praying for one another, and remaining focused on God will help us all get through this time.

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2020

Shine

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2020, Father, jesus, my own crazy, the holy spirit

Life is about the Little Moments

I’ve been trying to figure out why I struggled with my faith in 2019. I don’t have a good reason or rather I’ve found that my reason is silly. Sometimes things change in your life because of specific circumstances. Sometimes it’s because of multiple interconnecting issues. Then there are times when we just over complicate the simple.

2019 wasn’t a year when I saw much change in my life. I didn’t move. I didn’t change jobs. About the only thing that I changed was my hair color, lots. Much of what caused me to reexamine my faith this year was the lack of change. There were times when I prepared for big changes only to find the same cycles repeating themselves. I felt stuck.

  1. I couldn’t afford a vacation. In fact I got sick in the middle of our short Canadian summer.
  2. I was able to see specialist and rule out MS but I still don’t know why I have migraines. Don’t know why I have widespread pain. I’m on some new medication that is helping which is good.
  3. I did see some good changes at my job. I’m incredibly grateful for the less stressful environment that I work in.

I guess my expectations stopped me from seeing the good in my life again.

When I lost sight of God in the little moments of life I became depressed. I thought that life was about bigger and better things than those little moments. I thought it was about job promotions and big moves. The truth is that we don’t get to those big moments without the little ones.

Being faithful to God starts with daily obedience. It starts with listening to what you feel God wants you to do. Then stepping out in faith and doing it. It can seem scary but as we continue to step out for the little things we will find those big moments aren’t quite the mountains that we originally thought they were.

“But Samuel replied:

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
    as much as in obeying the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
    and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”-1 SAMUEL 15:22(NIV)

For a long time I thought that if I was to sacrifice more God would do more through me. The truth I am finding is that He wants me to listen more.

This next year I feel will have changes but they are more internal changes. Smaller changes that may cause others to look at me like I’m crazy. What crazy is not being willing to change to become what God wants you to be?

One little moment at a time.

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encouragement, Father, love, my own crazy, prayer

Psalms 139:23

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2019

Messy Faith

I have lots of questions about faith lately. I don’t have as many easy answers as I once had. Things that I thought were foundational to faith have been shaken. Life isn’t as black and white as I once thought.

What is the definition of faith?

According to the Webster’s dictionary it means:

1a: allegiance to duty or a person LOYALTY lost faith in the company’s president b(1): fidelity to one’s promises(2): sincerity of intentions acted in good faith 2a(1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God(2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b(1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof clinging to the faith that her missing son would one day return(2): complete trust 3: something that is believed especially with strong conviction especiallya system of religious beliefs the Protestant faith

And how would you define your faith? Is it strong, weak, or somewhere in between. Is it something that defines you? Or just another part of you? Are you waiting on God or expecting God to wait on you?

I’ve discovered something I think of as “Fairy-tale Faith”. It’s a type of faith where you believe that no one should ever suffer. Every one should be healed. Life should be a Utopian.

Where is the biblical evidence of this?

From what I’ve read it sounds like God is more interested in the internal parts of you. He wants you to have a right heart. Not a perfect worldly life. Yes, God is the ultimate giver of good gifts and He knows when something is too much for you.

In part I’m writing this for those that tell me that any time that I talk about not one day being healed that I shouldn’t say that. That being around those that are realistic is somehow affecting my chance of healing. Yes, they are right it is important to remain positive but I’m not waiting on “my healing” to start doing the Lord’s work for me.

I’m not some princess waiting to be saved. I have been saved. I’m set free from this World and from myself. Now I can fulfill God’s will for me. I accept that His will may be for me to be sick for the rest of my life. I also wouldn’t mind if He healed me today. I will be content with things as they are.

Saying that everyone will be healed is dangerous. Promising to new believers that if they accept God it will unlock all they have ever dreamed of is unhealthy. It leads to faith that is easily chocked out by the hardships of life. I want faith that is strong because I’ve been through hell on earth.

I’ve suffered some and I’ve learned that I have so much more to learn. God wants us to cling to Him and He will allow us to go through hardships to grow closer to Him.

When I felt that I needed to prove to everyone that following God would led to only good things I needed to look like I felt happy.

I just don’t feel that I need to project something that I don’t feel. I still try to remain positive. I think that it is important to hold onto to the good in this life. It can help you through the difficult times. It’s more import to be joyful and focus on the internal peace that God offers. This will allow you to feel happy more often.

When your fairy tale faith makes you think that everything has to be good, you miss out on the areas that you need to work on internally. Areas that the Lord wants you to work on for your own good. Yes, it hurts to look at the parts of you that aren’t Christ-like but it leads to real growth when you do.

For me finding joy is something that I have to actively search for. I’m someone who see’s the good in others but I often miss the good in myself. I’m someone who has been clinically depressed and doesn’t want to go back there. For me God is what has gotten me up on mornings when I would have rather just stayed in bed.

God doesn’t promise that it will be easy. He promises that it will be worth it.

I believe in this statement. I have faith that God is real and that His son died for me. I will try and change to become the new creation that God wills me to be. Rain or shine, sick or healthy, rich or poor, I pray that I will be strong enough to complete His will for me. This is my messy definition of faith.

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