For me home doesn’t mean where I physically am, it means Heaven. Jesus said that the Son of Man would not have a home here on earth. As His follower that means that I too do not have a home here on earth. I have a place that I am supposed to be but that doesn’t mean that it’s a place where I feel comfortable.
When I was younger I was able to go on some trips to the southwestern U.S.A. To be honest with you, that is the closest that I have felt to being home. I love the desert. That part of this world will always have a special place in my heart. I thought at this point in my life that I would be living there. God had other plans for me. Plans to give me a much better life than I could ever imagine.
Some days it doesn’t feel that way.
But then I pray and I feel the Holy Spirit wrap Himself around me. I ask for strength to make it through today. I refocus on God and breath. I take another step forward, towards what I feel is right.
My Dad had a sign with a picture of Jesus and the saying, It’s not always easy but it’s always worth it. Being a true disciple of Jesus means that you make sacrifices. That you get hurt trying to help others. That you stand out, which we all know is a good thing in the end but it’s painful when you are going through it.
Whatever it is that you are dealing with, maybe missing home like me, if you are where you feel like God wants you to be then let me encourage you. I don’t know what you’re struggling with but it’s worth it. You may not be able to see it now but it is worth it.
When I was about eighteen or seventeen I had a vison of myself standing in a desert. My hair was extremely short, and brown. I’m wearing a sundress. And I’m all alone.
At the time I thought it meant that one day I would one day return to my favorite place, the American southwest. I took the vision at face value. It gave me hope. Sometimes God has given me glimpses of the future. Sometimes it’s just a moment, a sentence, a beautiful flower, a person, or a future version of myself.
This week I cut most of my hair off. When I was at work the Lord brought this vison back to me. To be honest it had been a long time since I had even thought about it. I realized that I had that haircut, glasses, and that sundress that I’m wearing in the vision is hanging in my closet. It took my breath away. I had been in seriously prayer about where the Lord wanted me to be. I immediately thought that I should book a plane ticket. Now, it was time to go on a mission trip. I knew where I should go or did I?
It didn’t feel right. I didn’t have a God feeling about it. I began to seek what God meant. How could I get to this desert? Because I wanted to be there more than anything? And do you know what He said to me?
Write yourself there.
What? What does that mean? How on earth do I write myself there? Is this an idea for a fiction novel? Will my writing lead me to the desert?
Then I saw this blog.
This is where I will start this journey. Maybe I will physically end up in the desert. Maybe I’m in a spiritual desert because I haven’t been walking as close to God as I should. Maybe I’m in a desert and God’s saying it’s time to come out. Maybe I will be starting a whole new section of my life. The truth is I don’t have a clear-cut idea what this vision means now.
Rarely do I hear from God so clearly. But He has spoken to me and I will obey. Come along with me on this journey.
Your sister in Christ,