2020, encouragement, Father, jesus, my own crazy, prayer, the holy spirit

Confused

I can’t be the only one that feels like I’m a little lost lately? I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know what I should be studying in the bible. I’m just struggling. Ideas that would make other Christians think that I’m too radical make sense to me. I feel that I’ve over complicated my faith in the past and now I am simplifying things and it seems so much clearer.

I came across this verse and it stuck me, I need to break this down.

Rejoice always; I know that I don’t always approach situations with joy. Most times I don’t feel it. I try to fake it but that only lasts so long.

Pray Continually; I talk to God a lot but I don’t pray much for specific things. I don’t know what God’s will is in most things.

Give thanks; I think I’m better at giving thanks since this whole quarantine started. I still have my days when I’m not thankful and I still have a way to go.

I love when I find verses like this because they remind me what’s important. I feel like this helps me see what I need to work on. There’s also a slew of other things on my mind lately.

Including; How I should act in these times as a Christian.

In my mind there are many things that the church in the book of Acts did that we no longer do. We think that those tenants were for then, not now. When did God change?

We should be breaking bread together. We should be helping those in need. We should be accepting of our place in society. Whether we are rich or poor or more likely somewhere in-between. We are called to be a peculiar people. Right now I think the world needs us more than ever.

James 2:14-17(AMP)


What do my actions say about me?

Often it is easy to poke a finger at what the church does wrong. It’s more difficult to look at ourselves. It’s imperative that we evaluate our own actions and motives behind those actions. Otherwise how do we learn?

In the past year there were times when I felt bitter about where I’m at in life. I’ve wondered how I’m supposed to pray for others healing and see them better when I’m not.

Hope and I have a love/hate relationship. I love the feeling of hope but I hate to be disappointed. Maybe from the outside looking in I look healthy and happy. Inside I feel like a messed up little girl sometimes. I lost hope that my life would ever change. I thought that this was it.

I did get my hope back. I guess that’s one good thing I’ve gained this year. We all have to accept that life doesn’t go the way we want. I think it says more about me when things don’t go my way and I hold onto hope. For me it’s much harder.

Moving forward I’m going to return to some of the habits that I had when I first believed. I want to read my bible more, listen to praise and worship more, and give myself quiet time to just think. It may not be a big change but I think it will help me move forward.

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2 thoughts on “Confused

  1. I really enjoyed this post, Autumn!!! I recommend checking Justin Peters on YouTube as well as Fighting 4 Faith, Pastor Chris Rosebrough. Mike Winger has also been helpful as well as Melissa Doughtery on Youtube.

    I’ve been learning a lot as well, and yeah, I relate to certain things you shared. Such as I used to believe in certain things made my walk with Christ more complicated, within the past year these conceptions have lifted off of my shoulders.

    This year, in addition to weekly Bible Study, I’ve been reading through a one year plan on YouVersion. I do not support every devotional they have on there, but I’ve enjoyed their very simplistic plan for reading through the Bible in one year. I’ve been realizing the importance of going over and over the same topics because we need to know them well. Bible Commentaries have been really helpful as well because they give information that we might not know. Bible Hub has a variety of commentaries for every verse, as far as I know.

    I also enjoy Pastor Tim Conway, Pastor Paul Washer, and Doreen Virtue. I’ve learned a lot from everyone I’ve shared. Thanks for sharing where you are being led. You’re right, we need more fellowship in this day and age!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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