I’ve been trying to figure out what your inner self actual means. I wasn’t sure what all it covered. I’m just going to break it down bit by bit.
your old way of thinking– So much of what we do is a reflection of the way we think. I’ve been thinking about the way I think. Even though I’ve grown a lot in my nine years of walking with the Lord I still have a ways to go. In twenty-twenty I found more old thought patterns that need to be re-routed. I need to focus on what God says about me more than what others said in the past.
regret past sins– Yes, I do regret my past sins but I need help with the sins I keep repeating. We often think about not committing adultery or murder, thinking that those are the gravest sins. What about not coveting what we don’t have? I know that a part of me wishes that I had kids. I don’t and I feel like I’m right where God wants me to be. I’ve struggled with not having kids a lot over the last couple of years. It’s only when quarantine hit that I really looked at my life and became grateful for what I have.
proves repentance– Does my life prove repentance? I don’t know if I’ve changed enough. When I fall into the same old patterns what does that prove? It’s not something that I even want to think about.
seek God’s purpose for your life-This is a hard one because everyone’s purpose is so different. I think I’m getting closer to figuring out what mine is. I just want to remain open enough that as I age and enter new seasons of my life I’m aware of God. That I can keep my ears open to Him.
believe in the GOOD NEWS– I do believe and I hope to have more opportunities to share the good news this year.
…
I know that the world is crazy right now. I don’t know what to say about everything. I have a lot of opinions on what is happening just like everyone else. I debated putting this out there right now. The truth is that in life you are only responsible for your actions and reactions.
I don’t know why I do the things that I do sometimes. I’ve found that we have to make up our minds about who we want to be. Focus on that, focus on what YOU can do. Know that I’m writing this as much for me as for you. Don’t give up, finish the race set before you.
Autumn Wood Writes 
Autumn – After reading your post you’ve been on my heart. I am praying for you.
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Thank you
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Everyone’s purpose is the same 💗 Ephesians 2:10, those in Christ are created for good works. What are good works, anything that honors the Lord. Obedience to the Lord. And sometimes it can be as small as daily things we might do for others. Sure, as a church body we may serve differently. But this is something to delight in, not to worry. Right now, you can honor the Lord in the role you have been placed in. It is not as confusing as some make it out to be. Speaking from experience, when I learned this I felt so relieved and free.
I struggled so much in the Seeker Driven Movement. I really feel the pain of some of these questions and burdens because I, too, had them. Our justification comes not by works but Christ. It took me a while to really grasp this. It took me longer to realize the deception of the teachings I grew up in. I thought I understood, but I didn’t.
I was trying to find my redemption in works and I didn’t realize that. Yes, those of Christ will be sanctified and live godly lives. But these changes aren’t forced or created by us, but by His Spirit. God refines us, we cannot refine ourselves. I was putting trust in my works and feeling condemned because I, like everyone else, fall short.
The Holy Spirit helps convict us of sin John 16:08 and He alone can help us with habitual sin. When we try to do anything on our own, it’s impossible. There were some sins I thought I would be stuck with. But Jesus broke those chains.
There is so much hope in Jesus. I really appreciate your honesty. So many of us have these thoughts. I recommend looking into the false teachings of the Seeker Driven movement. I can recommend some people I have found really helpful to listen to, if interested, no pressure. Thank you again for your honesty! God be with you and direct you!!!!
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