No one would choose to be sick. No one chooses this crazy life that we are on.
This is my prayer this morning,
Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord, I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to deal with the trials that I’m currently going through. I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. What I want is to serve You. I know that ultimately to serve you means to get out of bed. To walk through the fire to reforge the parts of me that are impure. To purify myself I must go forward. Even if I only take one step at a time when I would much rather run. Help me to see the good You have placed before me Lord because right now I’m so tired I can’t even think straight. Let me love those around me today in a way that glories You. Let me accept today. Let me win the battle against my flesh today.
Lord apart from you I can do nothing. Please Lord help me get out of the funk and out of this bed.
In Jesus Name I Pray,
Life is funny. Everyone has problems. I hate talking about mine but here I go about to reveal my deepest thoughts on the internet…Here are a couple things that have been going on in my life to give y ‘all some perspective.
- My biological Dad collapsed after open gifts this Christmas. Thank God that we were at a Christmas party and there were other people around because I freaked out. After spending my Christmas Eve and a couple early hours on Christmas day in the hospital we came to the conclusion that he probably had a seizure. Did I mention that I’m his only child? And our relationship is less than ideal.
- I feel nervous since I’m waiting to see a neurologist. I’m trying to find out if I have MS. This whole waiting thing is overrated. Right now I would take results over perseverance. I know that’s the wrong attitude. Sorry, Lord.
I’ll be glad when this season is over but I know that this too shall pass. That’s the amazing thing about life. It can be one thing, then another. It can be great and beautiful while making you want to throw up at the same time. In these times I see God’s work in my life even more clearly.
For Christmas I got a Christian book that just that morning I had told the Lord that I would love to read. My plan was to head down to the library. God had other plans. That’s normally how plans work in my life.
God has most importantly allowed me and my family to bless others. I hope to see this grow in 2019.
What’s your hope for 2019?
This is what the spirit of Christmas looks like to me. Focusing on giving. Giving because God through His son Jesus Christ has given us everything.
I’ve never tired to link something so I hope this works. I have been making designs for a while and I feel like I should share them.
Here is a sample of my work. If you like it check out my store. Thanks.
I’ve been wondering how much I owe people lately. How much time should I be spending with my friends? Family? How much quiet time do I need? Am I selfishly spending my time?
In the last while I can feel my life shifting. Things are changing for me. I’m just not so sure of things as I was. I feel like God was there with me but now He wants me to prioritize differently. I’m just confused.
It’s been a week since I wrote this and I can’t say I’ve got an answer to my questions. I think that maybe the point is that I’m trying. Trying to seek God in my everyday life. Trying to understand what I should be doing. Trying to get past the things I know I shouldn’t be doing. Trying to be a better person for Him because nothing else matters.