I’ve been trying to figure out why I struggled with my faith in 2019. I don’t have a good reason or rather I’ve found that my reason is silly. Sometimes things change in your life because of specific circumstances. Sometimes it’s because of multiple interconnecting issues. Then there are times when we just over complicate the simple.
2019 wasn’t a year when I saw much change in my life. I didn’t move. I didn’t change jobs. About the only thing that I changed was my hair color, lots. Much of what caused me to reexamine my faith this year was the lack of change. There were times when I prepared for big changes only to find the same cycles repeating themselves. I felt stuck.
- I couldn’t afford a vacation. In fact I got sick in the middle of our short Canadian summer.
- I was able to see specialist and rule out MS but I still don’t know why I have migraines. Don’t know why I have widespread pain. I’m on some new medication that is helping which is good.
- I did see some good changes at my job. I’m incredibly grateful for the less stressful environment that I work in.
I guess my expectations stopped me from seeing the good in my life again.
When I lost sight of God in the little moments of life I became depressed. I thought that life was about bigger and better things than those little moments. I thought it was about job promotions and big moves. The truth is that we don’t get to those big moments without the little ones.
Being faithful to God starts with daily obedience. It starts with listening to what you feel God wants you to do. Then stepping out in faith and doing it. It can seem scary but as we continue to step out for the little things we will find those big moments aren’t quite the mountains that we originally thought they were.
“But Samuel replied:
“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”-1 SAMUEL 15:22(NIV)
For a long time I thought that if I was to sacrifice more God would do more through me. The truth I am finding is that He wants me to listen more.
This next year I feel will have changes but they are more internal changes. Smaller changes that may cause others to look at me like I’m crazy. What crazy is not being willing to change to become what God wants you to be?
One little moment at a time.